The decision to divorce is a personal one. Once a Divorce Petition has been issued in Court however, either party can ask the Court to give assistance in reaching agreement regarding financial matters. Once an agreement is reached, either party can ask the Court to make an Order in the terms of the agreement reached. This provides clarity and ensures that neither party can renege on that agreement. This allows both parties to move on with their lives with the satisfaction of knowing their financial situation is secure.

The procedure relating to divorce is relatively straightforward and it can take between four to six months to obtain a Decree Absolute, the final Order within divorce proceedings which dissolves the marriage. If however one party seeks to defend the divorce, then proceedings can take longer. There is usually little benefit in seeking to defend the divorce as the Courts will often take a pragmatic view and accept that if one party wishes to dissolve the marriage and has taken steps to commence divorce proceedings, then a reconciliation is extremely unlikely. There may be good reason to delay application for Decree Absolute whilst financial matters are unresolved.

The divorce procedure dissolves the marriage, but does not remove any financial obligations. In order to achieve clarity and security for the future, it is important to attempt to reach agreement relating to financial matters and ask the Courts to make that agreement into an Order.

A common law husband or wife is not legally recognised and therefore neither party is entitled to seek maintenance from the other. Either party is entitled to seek maintenance from the other, or make claims in respect of the other party's pension provision. The law relating to unmarried couples is complex, and comprises a combination of trust and property law. Legal advice is strongly recommended.

Most people come to an agreement without proceeding through Court and, provided that agreement is recorded in writing and signed and dated by those making the agreement, there is no need to ask the Court for assistance. When divorce proceedings are issued, the Petitioner will be asked to complete a form setting out the practical arrangements in respect of the children and, if possible, it is beneficial if both parents sign that agreement. This is known as a Statement of Arrangements for Children form. Of course, no agreement in relation to children can be set in stone, and there may well be changes. Provided any changes are by agreement and in the interests of the welfare of the child, there is no need to ask the Court for assistance. Of course, if agreement cannot be reached, then an application to Court can be made. Should an application to Court be made, then the primary concern of the Court is what is best for the child, and the Court will not intervene and make an Order unless it believes to do so would be better for the child than making no Order at all.

It is extremely unusual for any child to attend any hearing at Court. Child and Family Reporters are Officers of the Children and Family Court Advisory Support Service ('CAFCASS'), and they act as the eyes and ears of the Court, meeting with children and parents and given assistance where required. Often agreement is reached in relation to children with the assistance of the CAFCASS Officers. The Courts also offer the option of mediation, recognising that it is far better for parents to reach agreement in relation to children than for a Judge to make a ruling.

This is the first stage of divorce, where, although the parties remain married, the Judge has made his or her decision that there are grounds to dissolve the marriage. The marriage may be dissolved by the Petitioner applying for the Decree Absolute six weeks and one day following pronouncement of the Decree Nisi. It is however often wise to wait until financial matters are resolved before dissolving the marriage as there are often financial implications and wider implications in relation to taxation and pension issues.

This is the final document which dissolves the marriage. The certificate of Decree Absolute effectively takes the place of the Marriage Certificate and must be presented as proof that the marriage has been dissolved in the event of any future remarriage.

In certain cases, the parties may require a decree from the Court that they need no longer live together as man and wife, although they remain married. This is requested within proceedings for judicial separation. This is highly unusual and the financial benefits linked to divorce are limited with judicial separation.

Collaborative law is a method of conflict resolution which works outside the Court system. The Courts are very supportive of the collaborative option, and when an agreement is reached, the Courts will often be very sympathetic to the agreement reached and happy to grant the Consent Order. Fundamental to this option is the ability for you and your partner to communicate well, and co-operate with each other, in order that your issues can be resolved and you can achieve a 'good divorce'.

The collaborative approach is unique in that it brings all parties to the table with their respective collaborative lawyers to create and enter into a bespoke participation agreement. A commitment is made by all parties to work towards reaching an outcome that satisfies them. All parties enter into what is known as a Participation Agreement, whereby all parties commit to working hard to reach a satisfactory outcome without proceeding to Court. Indeed, if negotiations fail, which is unusual, then neither collaborative lawyer can continue with the case.

In mediation there is just one neutral professional who assists both parties to attempt to settle their case. The mediator cannot give either party legal advice, and cannot assist one party in particular as this may be regarded as biased. The collaborative approach means that both parties will receive their own legal advice and assistance.

Collaborative lawyers can also assist with Prenuptial Agreements, Living Together Agreements and Civil Partnerships. They can do everything that a conventional family lawyer does, with the exception of attending Court.

Both parties and their respective lawyers sign a Participation Agreement, in which they agree to disclose all documents and information on a voluntary basis at the earliest opportunity and to cooperate fully with the meetings in order to make them as productive as possible. The lawyers stake their professional integrity on ensuring full voluntary disclosure of necessary information takes place as soon as possible. Should the lawyers discover that their client is less than honest, they will be required to withdraw from the collaborative process.

Collaborative law will not necessarily be the best route for you, but it should be considered if you and your partner wish to remain friends; if you will both be co-parenting children together; if you wish to protect your children from the emotional damage that can be caused by the Court process; if you and your partner have family and friends with whom you wish to remain in contact; if you do not wish to 'bear all' in Court; if you wish to retain control over your financial situation and child care arrangements; if you and your partner are committed to resolving any disputes positively; and also if you value what can be a more cost efficient and quicker process of resolving issues.